Out, damned spot!

My saboteur steals the stage, my dear sage, and some science. Wow, was my Saboteur out in full force the other day. So much so that I have to tell this story in two parts. For those of you not in the coaching world, this phrase is coined by Shirzad Chamine in his book Positive Intelligence. Chamine talks about two operating systems running in all of us: our Saboteurs, the voices of judgment and self-doubt, and our Sage, the clearer, wiser part of us that responds instead of reacts. He suggests giving a name to your main saboteur, whom he calls the Judge, in order to give it a personality, which is how mine became Captain Spiral. Before I dig into how the Captain invited himself into my life most recently, I'd like to take you back to what I wrote about last week. My beautifully deep dark blue den that I decided I had outgrown. The planning fallacy was living out in real time. The prep work took me the whole week. Sixteen hours in the evenings after my work day was done, before my mom even came to start working. Then close to twenty hours more in our two days together this weekend, and still, we only got the room primed. Earlier in the week, after I had taped off the room, I rolled on the white primer, so excited to finally cover up the blue. And as it dried, I watched the blue bleed through. Not just a little, enough that I knew I'd need another coat. So I put on a second, it looked good, until it dried, then it became clear I needed another, and another. Four coats total before the blue was no longer visible. I get it, the room had previously been painted a really dark color, so it makes sense it takes that many coats to cover. You all know how I love my metaphors, so here goes, this paint situation is just like the idea behind neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to form new neural pathways. To keep this example very basic, think of a neural pathway as our brain's programming for a certain habit. Until the not so distant past, scientists believed our neural pathways solidified and became unchangeable around early adulthood. Meaning that who we are and how we think and operate becomes static, unchangeable. Come to find out, that belief was wrong. The ability to build new neural pathways has always been there, it's our belief in it being possible that's fairly new. Somewhat ironic when you think about it. An old pathway doesn't just disappear because a new one exists. The old wiring is still there, and still holding on as the path of least resistance, until the new pathway has been reinforced enough times to become the new default. Alright, enough with the science, now back to the story. When I wasn't working overtime in my self-appointed role of painter, I was busy with my coaching business and working at Nest Realty. So much going on, and in the midst of it all I had an awesome professional experience happen. It left me feeling full of confidence and excitement. Captain Spiral (enters stage left, hands confidently on hips) There he was, showing up right on time with his healthy dose of self-doubt. I stopped myself, my sweet Sage hard at work to stand up for me, she tried so hard to push back, but it only worked for a moment. Captain Spiral is similar to that darn blue paint, waiting in the wings, reminding you that he's still around, carrying that full blown judgment with him. Now you see why this will take two weeks to share. See you next week with some good news and the final outcome. Reading this, can you think of a moment when your Saboteur has won over your Sage?