I can see clearly now.

My Sage supported, Jimmy Cliff playing on repeat, and new habits sinking in. Last week I told you about Captain Spiral, my judgy saboteur, and the professional win he immediately tried to steal from me. So here we are, picking up where that story left off. The Captain doesn't work in the light. He prefers darkness, quiet corners, the moments when you're alone with your thoughts. As soon as I'd had the slightest millisecond of doubt around celebrating an achievement, he got busy worming his negative ideas back into my thoughts, rent free per usual. He's sneaky that way with his quiet pull on the edges of what I'd felt so sure about, ready to convince me I was reading the whole situation wrong. Of course I couldn't have experienced a success. As soon as he senses confidence in me, he does all he can to shift me back into doubt, maybe as a way to keep me safe. Except I don't need that safety anymore. I'm too busy growing and that's where she comes in... Sunny the Sage (enters stage right, shoving the Captain and knocking him off balance) Even with my sweet Sunny was pushing back, the Captain just kept talking over her. As his plan to spiral me directly into self doubt and smallness was taking hold, my phone lit up. It was a text from a friend who'd witnessed the whole professional sitch as it unfolded. She wasn't trapped in my spiral. In genuine excitement and clarity of having witnessed what happened, she simply asked with encouragement in her voice, "How are you feeling about it?" That's all it took. Not a compliment so much as confirmation. The mirror I needed held up. The moment I read her text, my mood shifted from headed to heavy, back to feeling light. The gap between what I'd felt and what the Captain was trying to make me believe became impossible to ignore. His voice didn't disappear, but it lost its pull. Like that lighter paint color slowly covering the deep blue on my den walls. Layer by layer, the old color bleeding through less and less, until finally it became undetectable. Steady, persistent covering, bringing the new healthier truth to the surface. This is neuroplasticity at work. This is what it takes to form a new, healthier habit. Growth isn't about erasing your version of Captain Spiral. It's about making the space for that pause and remembering to celebrate in the present moment. Give your win the moment it deserves to shine. That moment when you feel light and excited from a recent success, big or small, can build a bit of extra space that slowly erases the 'danger' of change our Captain is working to protect us from. With the help of a friend supporting my Sage, I gave myself that space in the moment to celebrate my growth. I looked myself in the mirror and say out loud: "F yeah Annie, you've got this. Look at what you've done."